He leadeth me

About two weeks ago I began this blog to help reduce the noise in my life, to help me remember to focus on the important things. As I now sit in my darkened living room, I hold my infant daughter in my arms. God decided that the stillness needed to be a bit more intense, I guess because He literally plopped this gorgeous baby girl into our lives in the span of about 3 days. On Tuesday the birth mother called me to see if we were interested, and although I didn't believe it would actually happen, I've never known anything so heart-wrenchingly beautiful and terrifying over the course of this last week. She is cooing in my arms since she found it difficult to sleep with just enough congestion to be bothersome to a 4 week old infant. As my husband and I try different solutions to this problem to help her sleep, I find myself constantly worrying about her to the point that I find it hard to sleep without watching her breathe. I realize that this is norm, but I will need to control it soon because sleep is important!! I'm not sure where to begin to describe all the emotions wrapped up in this, but I am humbled by the grat gift of my daughter and honored by the trust placed in me by my God and by the birth mother. I pray that I will be able to live up to these expectations. It is daunting, but as I lean over to breathe that distinctly baby odor of lotion and formula, I feel calm. He leadeth me beside these still waters. I will follow Him always.